BY UPESI NEWS LIFESTYLE TEAM,24TH DEC,2016-Many are the times marriages have broken down courtesy of little things like a wife not being submissive to the husbands or claims of women taking over men space in a marriage reunion. While it has been known and accepted that at occasionally marriage may not work and the two people who one time walked down the aisle and   vowed for better or for worse they will stick together decide to call it quits.It all begun back in biblical days and it  still stands  even to this day that as  it is written in  (Colossians 3.18) that  Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.




However  many women in marriage today despite promising to be faithful and submissive to their husbands on the wedding day, things normally take a different turn when they actually start living together as husband and wife. It is at this point in time that subconsciously wives start changing and showing what many men will call hidden character and becoming a leopard in marriage and not a kitten. What many men may not have known until things span out of control is that they could have married an Alpha wife.

James Sirgoi a marriage counselor based in Nairobi says Alpha women have potentially contributed to their troubled or even broken marriages not knowing they are doing it. While the problem continue to manifest it leaves many confused and given up. But the question is ,is  there hope at all? UPESI NEWS LIFESTYLE TEAM embarked on the journey to unravel this mystery and help return things to where they at least suppose to be. Come with us.

The Journey-Close look at an   alpha female

An alpha female —this is a woman who is  independent-minded and highly motivated individual. She can’t rest until she’s achieved a task, whatever it may be, and is most comfortable when she’s in charge. If you want something done yesterday, ask an alpha female.

Alpha females aren’t new, but they were rarer back in the day. They typically were women who didn’t follow conventional paths. They became writers and politicians, or actresses and scientists, or doctors and businesswomen. Or they were traditional housewives, except they went into “mother mode” and never came out. Their husbands became one more child to lead and instruct.

Enter the problem.

When an alpha female gets married, she becomes the only thing she knows how to be: an alpha wife! You can find her at the office, or you can find her at home with the kids. How she spends her days doesn’t matter.

What matters is how she behaves. An alpha wife micromanages, delegates and makes almost all of the decisions. She is, quite simply, The Boss.

The problem is … No man wants a boss for a wife. That type of relationship may work for a spell, but it will eventually come crashing down.


To have a marriage that works, the alpha female must channel her energies in the right direction. She can be an alpha at work and an alpha with the kids, but she cannot be an alpha with her husband. That role requires a different kind of energy.

It requires the feminine.

Every relationship needs a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. Masculine energy is gruff and hard; it like to do things and fix things. Feminine energy nurtures and verbalizes; it likes to feel and talk. That’s why feminine energy is the receiver of masculine energy. It’s why men typically make the first move, and why they ask a woman for her hand in marriage. The male acts, and the female responds.

Today, this symbiosis is off-kilter, because women have been conditioned to bury their femininity and to assert themselves at all times in a masculine, or alpha-like, manner. We’re drowning in alphas. We’re inbreeding! And that doesn’t work. Every alpha needs a beta, and every beta needs an alpha.

This is not to suggest that each partner must be 100 percent beta or 100 percent alpha. That would not be good. Like anything else, there’s a spectrum. Most couples are a mix of these personalities. It becomes a problem only when both partners are strongly in one camp. When two alphas get together, it’s combustible. When two betas get together, nothing gets done.

As you celebrate the Christmas and new year festivities it’s all about finding the right balance. And to do that, alpha females will need to make the first move. If they want to find love and keep it, they need to stop being the man in the relationship and start being the woman.

They need to find their inner beta.

There you have it!


do you have anything to add on this story? be free to contact us at infor@upesinews.co.ke.We value your opinion.






















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